Thoughts of a Supposedly Forgetful Dreamer (Part 1)

The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart. 

                                                                           ~Julien Green

This blog is being written in the hopes that I can expand myself understanding, and as an end result develop into a better person. I feel that my dreams are significant to helping me in the midst of this quest because at the moment I don’t have much interaction with other people outside of my small and humble family-- especially since my mother has a disability that requires me or my father to be home as much as we are able to provide assistance to her, or to be there in case any serious health problems arise. 
Since I have less opportunities to interact with others outside of my own family, I can utilize my dreams to better the understanding I have of myself, and how I feel about various situations I don’t necessarily understand right away—and in order to do this, I have to be able to interpret my dreams in order to gain that understanding. However, I believe that once I improve my self-understanding I would be able to make better connections with others because I want to improve the quality of my life.

Even though I dream often, I don’t remember my dreams. If I do remember my dreams, I usually want to forget them because they are: abstract and I don’t understand how they apply to my life so I forget them, then I have dread inducing dreams—strangely most of my forbidding dreams I have involve zombies—and I don’t desire to remember those dreams. Every once in awhile, I have a recurring dream but those are few and far in between. However, I experience dreams that have recurring environments: there’s this Winco store from my early childhood that I always see in my dream, but the environments around it change-- for instance, in some dreams only part of the parking lot remains in front of the store, but the rest is filled with an ocean and a dock for ships (this is one of the few dreams that I still remember from years ago).

Sometimes my dreams have recurring themes, but they occur in the various environments that are recurring in my dreams. For example, there is this older town that I’m always in (and I can’t remember if I’ve ever seen this town or if it exists) and this town is always at the start or at the base of some sort of apocalypse. I am often in this town (or travel to/through it) when my dreams are flooded with zombies, another time this town had been at the base of a volcano where an evil man, well I got the impression he was a demon as I travelled a fiery but mostly extremely dark and charred path to his castle. (I never found him—I woke up before I reached that castle).

I believe that everyone knows who they are; just every now and then we lose sight of ourselves because of life’s complexities. Personally, I understand that I have the ability to find the truth about myself, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to accept how one feels, or even to understand or want to understand your feelings; but, I hope that with this blog I can confront myself, (I know how I feel but I often ignore my own feelings— often at the cost of my own happiness) and maybe you can also learn something about yourself through the aspects of dreaming I’ll explore to interpret my own dreams. 

Pain reaches the heart with electrical speed, but truth moves to the heart as slowly as a glacier.

                                                    ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

Sources: 
"Quotations about Self-discovery." Quote Garden. N.p., n.d. Web. 9 Nov. 2013
      <http://www.quotegarden.com/self-discovery.html>.

Links to Photos:

http://43longroadthriller12.blogspot.com/2012/01/film-noir-cinematography.html

http://cdn.acidcow.com/pics/20091221/beautiful_forests_13.jpg